Beyond the construction barriers..

I started Raspberry Daydreams, because I was exploring Life.. well, to put it plainly- I didn’t know what I want in life.

 I knew a list of things I enjoyed and the things I dislike.. with the information in mind, I made plans for 2015- I  wanted take a break, start a family, travel and explore new cafes with Blueberry.

Then shit happened.

Most of the plans didn’t come to pass.. At the end of 2015, I was shattered and couldn’t help to wonder if sharing(my plans on my blog) jinxed my future. It took sometime, before I could let go of my disappointments (and other emotional baggage) and be at peace.

I know God has plans for me… but from my perspective, my future seems to be under construction- Danger, Keep out! I don’t know what’s beyond these barriers.. guess I’ve to believe they are good plans.

Anyway, back to the story.. It’s been 2 years since I started this blog, and I still don’t know what I want in life.

I thought I knew,  and I made plans.. but they don’t seem work out.. *puzzled*

Maybe all these planning and goal setting isn’t the way to go.. Perhaps, I should stop what I’ve been doing and just go with the flow.. Is that how life should be?

Even though I can’t predict the future, I can’t help thinking how things would turn out to be. 🙂

“When will I have kids? When will I see the cherry blossoms?”

I guess I won’t know the things (beyond the construction barrier) for now.

HBVD…

My birthday is 3 days short from Valentine’s Day.

This year, Blueberry and I had a combined celebration on 14-Feb.. HBVD!

We went to Sanpoutei for ramen, then to Sunday Folks for desserts..

Ice-cream and waffles for dessert.. The perfect way to end our evening.

Sanpoutei shoyu ramen… my favourite ramen in town.

My first oden.. I’m so happy I got to try it.

Before we tuck in, let’s take a selfie first!

The Family’s birthday tradition.. 2 hard boiled eggs for the birthday girl! Red packet for good luck too.

Our evening was simple and nice.. It felt refreshing and meaningful to try different things.

Thank you for the lovely evening, Blueberry!

I ❤ you. 🙂

Reborn. Restart

Signs of lifeforms in my flowerpot.. after umpteen tries to grow herbs, this is the greatest accomplishment I have come so far.

Last year, I took a much needed break from the working world.

It was a combination of bad job fit, toxic work culture and bad management, that made me come to my decision. There wasn’t anyone in particular to blame. Everyone (including myself) contributed to the “perfect storm”.

Although I was no longer suffering from late nights and work related stress, I was still experiencing high amounts of stress. Very often, I found myself frustrated and depressed with my imperfections.

I was full of anger, resentment, and shame towards life. My inner self was consumed with negativity.. Hanging out with toxic company, didn’t help too.

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

Early this year, while I was in church, I heard my Pastor shared a verse.. “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

It hit me.

If everything had worked out, and it meant putting my life in constant stress, worry, fear.. losing my health, peace and joy. What benefit would it be to me? Definitely, I wouldn’t want that to happen to me.

It also dawned upon me, this break would be meaningless if I neglect my soul.

Seedlings sprouting from the dirt.

Since then, I set aside time to read, pray and meditate on bible verses.. They helped me to let go of the unpleasant past and forgive myself and others.

It’s been a more than a month now, and I’m definitely more at peace with everything.

The season of good things is here in my heart- the seedlings of happiness have started to spout! 🙂