Category Archives: Sad days

Circuit Breaker- Day wat?

Today was supposed to be the end of the Circuit Breaker period. (Circuit Breaker is a partial lockdown). 2 weeks ago, the Prime Minister announced the Circuit Breaker will be extended until 1 June. Essential services will continue to function, but everyone have to telecommute from home.

Things have changed in the recent Covid19 pandemic. Government mandated 5 days medical leave to anyone who has respiratory symptoms.

Yesterday, I went to the GP for flu. The symptoms (running nose, body aches and fatigue) started on 1st May itself. During the clinic session, the doctor said my lungs were clear and he doesn’t think it’s the dreaded Covid19. Even though I’m given 5 days medical leave, there isn’t much difference as I’m working from home.

Work still goes on..

Today, Boss texted me to inform I had to go for Covid19 testing. Apparently, the Infection Control taskforce was worried to know about my symptoms. Knowing my protests would be futile, I complied with the request.

4.20pm- I took a Grab ride to National Centre of Infectious Diseases (NCID). I didn’t want to create fear to my driver, thus I enter the place of destination as the building next to NCID.

4.40pm- After dropping off, I took a 5 min walk to the main entrance of NCID. I was redirected by the staff to go to another part of the building for Covid19 testing.

4.45pm- I reached the designated place for screening. Before I could enter the place, 2 nurses donned in full personal protective equipment (PPE) attended to me. They briefly took my medical history, vitals and temperature (tympanic temperature from both ears). Lastly, I was asked about my exposure to Covid19- my recent travel history and contact history.

I’ve been doing temperature monitoring twice a day for several weeks. It has been normal. However, the stress caused me to have increased body temperature (37.6c) and blood pressure upon checking. :”(

4.50pm- I had to be isolated in a room due to “fever”. While the nurse brought me to my room, I was many classroom desks stationed in the waiting area (1 metre apart). I wondered what they were for..

Then when I reached my room, I saw a desk in the room.

What every desk had...

Every desk had a laminated copy of Covid19 related information. It explains why the patient is here for and what’s needed for this visit. Click to enlarge.

Then I realized it would be safer to social distance patients this way, than asking them to sit in alternate rows of chairs.

1 staff came with my ID tag and GPS tracker. As she help me to wear my tag, she joking mentioned, “In case you run away..” We had a good laugh. ūüėÄ

My GPS tracker

My GPS tracker. In case, I decide to run away. Lol.

After this stage, I got really nervous and I didn’t take any more photos. The dreaded procedure was coming.

Shortly after, 2 nurses emerged. They checked my identity and explained the procedure to me. A piece of tissue was placed infront of me.

Then it happened. With a sterile cotton tip, the nurse swabbed my throat first, then my right nostril and lastly the left nostril. The throat didn’t hurt much. But the nostrils were felt horrible AF- it felt as though I had a lump of wasabi was stuck in my nose. After swabbing the first nostril, the stinging pain caused uncontrollable tears. Then I realized the tissue is for my tears- the kind nurse had forseen the shredding of tears. :”(

The doctor came to take my medical history. I was told I had to do a Chest Xray as part of the procedures.

Within mins, I had my X-ray done. I saw something amusing before my X-ray- I had to sign a form stating I’m not pregnant. To minimize contamination, the X-ray guys placed the form in a plastic sleeve. There was jagged hole (in the sleeve) for patients to sign their signatures on the paper. Lol!

Right after X-ray, I was seen by the doctor again. My lungs were clear (thank goodness!) The doctor explained I was low-risk of contacting Covid19, but I had to self isolate until my swab results are out. He suggested if I encounter issues with self isolation, he would admit me into the ward.

The thought of being admitted at this time is scary- I’ve no choice but to make some changes at home. After that, I was discharged with hospitalization leave.

5.25pm- I left and took a cab home.

The entire process took less than an hour. I must say NCID is very organised and efficient in the fight against Covid19. #kudos

The pending results is making me worried- I’ve been checking my results via Health Buddy every hour. Being confined to my room is tough.. and being away from my kid makes it tougher.

Hope there will be good news very soon.. May this madness end.

Stay safe and take care, everyone!

Update: my test results are negative. Yay!

Beyond the construction barriers..

I started Raspberry Daydreams, because I was exploring Life.. well, to put it plainly- I didn’t know what I want in life.

 I knew a list of things I enjoyed and the things I dislike.. with the information in mind, I made plans for 2015- I  wanted take a break, start a family, travel and explore new cafes with Blueberry.

Then shit happened.

Most of the plans¬†didn’t come to pass.. At the end of 2015, I was shattered¬†and couldn’t help to wonder if sharing(my plans on my blog) jinxed my future. It took sometime, before I could let go of my disappointments (and other emotional baggage) and be at peace.

180115 underconstruction-future

I know God has plans for me… but from my perspective, my future seems to be under construction- Danger, Keep out! I don’t know what’s beyond these barriers.. guess I’ve to believe they are good plans.

Anyway, back to the story.. It’s been 2 years since I started this blog, and I still don’t know what I want in life.

I thought I knew, ¬†and I made plans.. but they don’t¬†seem¬†work out.. *puzzled*

Maybe all these planning and goal setting isn’t the way to go.. Perhaps, I should stop what I’ve been doing and just go with the flow.. Is that¬†how¬†life should be?

Even though¬†I can’t predict the future, I can’t help¬†thinking how things would turn out to be. ūüôā

“When will I have kids? When will I see the cherry blossoms?”

I guess I won’t know the things (beyond the construction barrier) for now.

A medley of wildflowers..

When Doggie was still around, we went for walks together. He loved to sniff everythingРthe grass, wildflowers, shrubs and trees! Our furry pal loved every moment in nature.

Today, while Blueberry and I were walking home from breakfast. We saw  local wildflowers growing by the roadside- the ones Doggie loved to smell.

I decided to bring some home.. Last Sunday was Doggie’s death anniversary, I wanted to write a post in remembrance of my dear friend.¬†‚ô•

Back at home, the trio were gently towel dried, trimmed and assembled..


I think Doggie would name this trio- Happiness bouquet.

Seeing these flowers made me happy.. they brought back special memories and made me feel warm inside. ūüôā

Happy Anniversary, Doggie. The past year was tough and it still hurts. I miss everything about you.
Take care, my sweetheart. Til we meet again.

Waking up..


When I’m feeling blue, waking up becomes a challenge.

 As much as I want to stay in bed the whole day, I know it’ll make me feel even worse. To prevent myself from feeling worse, I force myself to go through the morning routine.

Brush teeth.. Shower.. Have breakfast..

Every little step is a victory for me.. It helps me to start the day and feel better about myself. ūüôā

For an (extra)ordinary orange seed..

For my little orange seed..

For my little orange seed..

It was a positive sign!

We were over the moon. ūüôā

The symptoms started.. satiety, nausea, bloating, breast tenderness.

Then one night, the bleeding started.

.. my extraordinary orange seed was gone.


During this week, I experienced a chemical pregnancy. Even though it’s a loss, I don’t want to think of it as a miscarriage (considering the fact the pregnancy is at a very early stage and there were no hospitalization/procedures done).¬†I’m sad and disappointed, but I believe everything happens for a reason.

The¬†road to getting pregnant hasn’t been easy.

End of last year, we¬†wanted to get pregnant. Just as we decided, I started experiencing health issues. The occurrence the symptoms¬†baffled me, because¬†I’ve been healthy most of my life.

From the family doctors to hospitals I went.. Lots of tablets and creams I took.

I remembered telling myself, “I guess this is how people feel when they are told to take long-term medication.” The thought of poping medications everyday was no fun.

Eventually, the health issues resolved over 5 months.. and I got weaned off from the medications. Thank God!

Starting from April, we tried.. and this has been the closest we have gotten to.

Though it was brief, it was nice to experience pregnancy.. I believe this will prepare me to cope better(in the early stages) when the time comes.

Dear Blueberry, thank you for being here during this journey.. I know God will bless us with a bundle of joy when the time comes. I love you banyak banyak.

Journey through Hell..

Feet don't fail me now, bring me to the finish line..

Feet don’t fail me now, bring me to the finish line..

Ps:¬†This is not one of those uplifting posts.. If you’re not in the mood for sad stories, please don’t go ahead.

Last year was the worst year of my life.

My year started with me being jobless.. It took me 3 months before I could secure a job.

During the 3 months, things were not well with my mother. I had a big fight with her, because of my cat (I had no choice to adopted my cat early, due to a pressing issue.. shan’t go into that today).. My mother hated cats and would do anything to get rid of it.

My in-laws weren’t pleased with me being unemployed.

When one is out of job, people¬†tend to assume the non-working person has nothing to do all day. I naturally became the “person-of-choice” to bring my mother-in-law for all her medical appointments. Though I was glad to help, it¬†bothered me alittle when I was expected to accommodate to my mother-in-law’s schedule.

Despite the multiple doctors appointments, her condition worsen.. the frequencies of the clinic visits increased, so did the hospitalizations too. In mid June, she passed away in the comfort of her home.

Everyone was deeply saddened.¬†My father-in-law was the most devastated¬†by¬†my mother-in-law’s passing.. Worried for his wellbeing, Blueberry and I moved in with my father-in-law.

Around the same time, I left my job.. The place we now live is far from my workplace; commuting to work would take 2.5 hours.

We adapted well to the new environment.. It was a joy staying with my father-in-law. Just as I thought life was starting to improve, my beloved family pet was diagnosed with cancer- oral melanoma.

Several times in a week, I traveled back and forth to visit Doggie. Despite all the efforts my family and I had put in, Doggie deteriorated quickly. He passed at the end of Nov.. 7 weeks, after his first diagnosis.

There was a constant deep sadness in me, throughout my journey in 2014..

After my mother-in-law and Doggie passed,¬†pieces of me¬†died. I’m still trying to recover from the events.. the sight of hospital wards, vet clinics and hospitals supplies makes me shudder.

Although the past is over, I still feel a lingering sense of melancholy..

Saying farewell..

Our founding father of modern Singapore has passed on Monday.

On Wednesday morning, his body laid in state at the parliament house. The public was allowed to visit and pay their respects there.

Great masses of people turned up.. As the hours passed, the masses continue to pour in. By noontime, the news reported the queue was 8 hours long! *gasp*

Later in the afternoon, the visiting hours was changed (to 24 hours!) to allowed more people to visit.

I wanted to pay my respects too, but I was worried of the long queue. On Thursday, I left home at 5.15am to beat the crowd.

By 6am, I was standing in a queue.. I think there was easily 200 people waiting in line- school children, teenagers, office workers, elderly.. from all walks of life. We waited for an hour to say goodbye.

Our wait was nothing compared to what Mr Lee Kuan Yew had done for Singapore in his lifetime.. He was a truly remarkable leader. He will be missed by all.

RIP Mr Lee Kuan Yew..

Today is a sad day for Singaporeans.

The first Prime Minister of Singapore passed away at 3.18am.

I woke up from interrupted sleep at 6.30am and overheard Blueberry talking to my father-in-law about his passing. My heart ached upon hearing the news.

Not just our first Prime Minister.. he was our Founding Father. The man who made Singapore.

Not just our first Prime Minister.. he was our Founding Father. The man who made Singapore.

Amongst the many things Mr Lee had done for Singapore, two things impacted my life the most.

He changed the housing situation for Singaporeans.. and he was passionate in greening Singapore, thus helping Singapore to become a garden city.

I’m grateful for what Mr Lee has done.

Blueberry and I wouldn’t able to own our first home.. and my¬†blog wouldn’t be filled with pictures of the trees/plants from our neighbourhood.

Flags flying half mast.. seven days of national mourning for Mr Lee Kuan Yew's passing.

Flags flying half mast.. seven days of national mourning for Mr Lee Kuan Yew’s passing.


Dear Mr Lee, thank you for what you have done for our homeland. Your legacy will continue to live in our hearts. Rest in eternal peace.